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A Comparison of Cultural Phenomena
March 3, 2010

Welcome, one and all, to the second official zaum blog entry. The previous post involved an interview with the acclaimed poet and zaum faculty advisor Gillian Conoley, which allowed us to see into the mind of a published author. It also introduced the readers to our magazine and informed them of an upcoming literary event.

Unfortunately, this is not…that. And for this I apologize.

My name is Rachel Levine and I do not enjoy that the Twilight series is as insanely popular as it is. The fact that it's become what they call a "cultural phenomenon" is nothing short of baffling to me. I know it's become kind of cool and edgy to say you hate Twilight, but I can assure you this opinion is well thought-out. And yes, I have tried to read it - "tried" being the operative word.

In this entry, I will briefly compare the themes of this series to that of the biggest literary trend of my own childhood, Harry Potter. Before I begin, I understand that my opinion may be skewed on the side of Harry Potter because I enjoyed it as a kid (and everyone knows everything was better when you were young). However, I'll try to remain objective – "try" being the operative word. The nostalgia goggles are off.

First, a summary of each series.

Harry Potter is a seven-book series of novels written by British author J.K. Rowling. They tell the story of an awkward boy who finds out he's a wizard, and is whisked away to a school called Hogwarts where he learns magic spells and makes the friends of a lifetime. He is also the target of a powerful and evil wizard named Voldemort, and must find the courage to defeat him and save the wizarding world.

Twilight is a four-book series written by Stephanie Meyer. In these books, a misplaced high school girl named Bella falls in love with a "vampire" named Edward (the quotes indicate that Meyer's vampires are somewhat contradictory to established vampire lore; for one, instead of incinerating in the sun, they sparkle). Their love is forbidden by "vampires", humans and werewolves, but Bella and Edward are determined to remain together. They must go through hardship after hardship before they finally can be a couple for the rest of their lives.

I don't want to go on too long, so I'll simply list the lessons that we and our children can learn from each of these series.

Harry Potter

Friendship: Harry would have never had the inner strength to defeat Voldemort without the help of the friends he made during his years at the magical school of Hogwarts.

Loyalty: Harry's friends accompany him through dangerous adventures in order to help him succeed in saving lives.

Courage: As daunting as it is to fight dragons, giant spiders and snakes and an evil noseless wizard whose name people dare not speak, Harry fought his fears and eventually triumphed.

Finding your place: Before Harry came to Hogwarts, he had no friends and was shunned by his adoptive family. He soon made lifelong friends at his new school and became much happier.

Doing what's right: Though they continually must break school rules to do so, Harry and his friends always fight for truth, justice and the lives of others.

Work ethic and academics: Saving the world is hard work, but Harry always remembers to do his homework.

Witchcraft: One time one of Harry's teachers turned herself into a cat. That's awesome.

Proper eating habits: Cockroach Clusters are full of protein.

Twilight

Making new friends: Bella, upon moving to a completely new town, makes several new friends at her new school, whom she promptly forgets about when she meets Edward.

Determination: Though everyone and their mother condemn their love, Bella and Edward are resolute in their relationship.

Unconditional love: Even though Edward is a lifeless, cold, 107-year-old, bloodsucking abomination unto the world, Bella loves him for who he is.

Protecting those you care about: Edward makes sure Bella is always safe by watching her sleep from outside her window.

Loyalty: When Edward must leave Bella, she becomes a mute, emotionless shell of a woman for several months. It means she loves him.

Entertaining one's self: In Edward's absence, Bella takes on many thrill-seeking hobbies such as speeding on motorcycles and cliff-diving so she can hallucinate that Edward is there. Oddly enough, Hallucation-Edward tells her not to do these things.

Respecting one's parents: Bella knows her dad cares about her, because he always leads search parties when she goes missing after cliff-diving into the cold, rocky ocean. Upon coming home she thanks him by going silent for months.

Doing everything possible to be with the one you love: Bella and Edward eventually find a way to be together forever, by getting Bella teen-pregnant with a horrible demon child that is literally ripping her apart from the inside, forcing Edward to rip open her stomach with his "vampire" teeth, allowing Bella to join the ranks of the undead so they can be together and raise their child, who is immediately and forcibly predestined to be the lifelong mate of a werewolf.

Yes, all of this happens in the book, I assure you. I cannot make this up.

So there you have it, folks: an objective [or at least accurate] list of themes from both of these series. I'll concede that both series have faults in the writing and fans that are clinically insane. But it's not my place to tell you what to read, what not to read, or what to let your hypothetical kids read.

All I'm saying is Stephanie Meyer is a terrifying woman, as are the middle-aged ladies who lust after her underage fictional characters.

- Rachel Levine

Questions for the author? Want to comment on the blog? Email us at nicolais@sonoma.edu and we'll post your questions and comments.